Bystanders: Who are they in bully cultuRe

Workplace bullying is complicated; this is not anything new. But one thing is always true: when bullying happens, there are three roles — the bully or bullies who are perpetrating the behavior, the person receiving the abuse, and the bystanders — everyone else in the workplace.

Beyond the Bully-Target Paradigm

Bystanders are often described as onlookers, people standing on the sidelines simply watching. That image makes them sound harmless, as if their only job is to observe. They’re rarely identified as part of the problem, because bullying is often framed through the bully–target paradigm — as if the issue exists only between the bully and the person being bullied.

Bystanders Aren't Saviors

Bystanders are often told to “speak up,” “say something,” or “do the right thing.” That advice assumes they’re disconnected from the power dynamics that shape bullying, and it also assumes that the person being bullied is powerless. You can’t use the bully–target paradigm and then bring in bystanders as saviors. It doesn’t fit.

The Unspoken Bargain

In reality, most bystanders do not intervene because they are gaining something from the system — protection, approval, belonging, or simply the safety of not being next. In more than 20 years of being bullied at work, I never once had a bystander speak up in my defense or intervene. They would tell me privately how terrible it was, but when it happened in public, they lowered their heads and said nothing.

That is not how bully culture works. Bystanders aren’t neutral observers; they are an active part of the structure that allows bullying to continue.

Redefining the Bystander

A workplace bystander is any individual, regardless of role or authority, who is aware of bullying behavior and either benefits from, excuses, or fails to interrupt it — thereby sustaining the system that enables it.

In workplace settings, this includes anyone who knows what’s happening and chooses not to act — HR, leadership, supervisors, or even ethics officers. Their authority doesn’t remove them from the bystander role; it only makes their silence more powerful.

To hear more about how bystanders function in bully culture, listen to the latest episode of Exposing Workplace Bullying. Stay tuned for next week’s article, where we’ll continue unpacking the bystander problem.